Always with these New Obsessions

Every few months I end up getting obsessed with something. In the past it's been sudoku, makeup, hair stuff, all types of brushes, and shirts. I've never really had a shoe obsession. I think that female gene passed over me.
Right now I am obsessed with nail polish! My nails are so brittle that I kind of have to paint them unless I want them to start flaking off or cracking in the weirdest spots. My nail polish collection isn't as large as some people's but since it is so cheap I can see my self having a huge collection.
Because nail polish is so cheap I am afraid this will get a little out of hand. I've already ordered enough nail polish to double my small collection.

My Exciting Life as a Lonely Cat Lady

Today I think I got ding dong ditched. There was nobody at the door, no packages, and no note saying I was missed. I did find a paper bag full of bananas though in the porch. I'm not going to eat them, but now I am craving banana marshmallow creme pies.

Oh Ye Gods!

Please make this Nor'easter go away. I hate having to walk around with so many layers of clothing on. I sit inside all day waiting for you to go away. Why are you trying to ruin my last weekend before I have to work on projects and study for midterms? I am in pain!!! Why couldn't this just be short? You have to last a long time this time, right? Please end this torrential downpour!

Oh and clearing up the weather would be nice too.

Dear QC Squirrel,

This letter is for the big guy who lives in pillar J6 in Lot 5. Please stop stealing the crackers I leave for the baby squirrel. You know, the little baby that sits below J6 and is too short to climb the pillar. The poor thing tried to jump up and hit his head on a car bumper. I felt sorry for him and put out a cracker with tuna fish on it; and then you stole it. It was the first time I ever heard a squirrel scream. The noises you guys made were unbearable. They caused me to fear for my life. I quickly rolled up the windows. You just stared at me clinging to the wall like some sort of furry cockroach. I noticed that you are missing half a tail. Is it because the baby squirrels ganged up on you when you stole their crackers? Apparently you have not learned your lesson. I left some more crackers at the base of the pillar before I headed out to class. They were gone when I came back. I hope you let the baby eat or I will just have to lure him to another pillar without a bully living in it.

Love,
Ritz Girl

Hideous Free Things

I don't mind giving away stuff. I need to get rid of things to make room in my closet. Having a mother who works in the fashion industry, I end up with more clothes and accessories than I would ever need. The fact that I have the occasional shopping binge leads to a very jammed closet.

When new items make their way home, there is a very strict hierarchy for dispersal. My mother always has first dibs. Since my mother has 3 girls we rotate who gets first pick to keep it fair. Then whatever is left over goes to friends.

A few weeks ago my mother brought home some scarves. Of course we tore through the pile (you need a huge selection of scarves since you never know what outfit you might be wearing when you get a neck bruise). The rest were then sorted through by friends.

The most hideous scarves were left and I needed to get rid of them so I contemplated showing them to this selfish person for a very long time. The scarves were taking up space so I showed them to her and told to only take what she wants. I was hoping she would be normal for once but no. She looked at all the scarves and decided that she would sell them and whisked them all away.

Right now, as I am remembering this incident I can not help but think that I totally need those scarves back! I could have found a way to make the ugly green plaid scarf with the Pepto-Bismal pink fringe work with my pea coat. I could have gotten someone at school to translate what was written on the scarf with the creepy cartoon couple so I wouldn't feel like a moron when somebody asks me what it means. The scarf covered in a seizure inducing pattern of stars with the loud clanging sequins on the border could have become an awesome rape whistle scarf. There would be no need to scream since I would have alerted everyone in a 25 mile radius of my presence with the pots and pans banging sound from my new fashion accessory.

It's all for the best anyway. I need to make room for my massive glove and hat collection I will be acquiring this winter.

The city leads you to drink

I went to High Line Park yesterday. It"s a park built on an old el train. I knew this park would be fun right from the start.

Upon entering the park a woman proclaimed "These flowers stink". I just assumed she preferred the smell of smog. Unfortunately she was correct! The first half of the park was full of stinky weeds.

The second half of the park consisted of trees best described as twigs stuck in dirt. I couldn't help but exclaim very loudly that the Bronx has way better trees since they are all tall.

After walking through the park (single file only!) we went down to take a walk by the water. After the stinky weeds I was ready for some "fresh" air. I was wrong. We walked by the sanitation truck depot and the dumpsters for the businesses at Chelsea Piers.

The lovely city scents made me hungry so it was off to get some delicious felafel's and overpriced smoothies.

Upon arriving in the Bronx we went to the supermarket to get beer. I was done after only 2 Blue Moons.

I fell asleep on tequila's couch. I woke up in pain. There was a battery charger up my butt and I had used my iPhone as a pillow. Sorry Blue Moon, you are the worst host ever.

I loved you tequila

You came to me cleverly disguised as a blue Slushee. Upon first sip I knew this only going to be night of fast fun. I was so enamored with you I forgot to eat my entree and even told the waiter to get rid of it. With you there was no need to be hungry.

On the way to the car you gave me the courage to delicately remove a killer spider that has been living on the car for God knows how long. I hope our little friend will like his new home at Equinox.

When we got back to your place, after we had our fun, you had me chain smoking like there was no tomorrow.

When we decided to move into the living room, I found hundreds of Paula Deen baked apple scented candles lit. You gently laid me down on the couch. The next two hours were such a blur, but when I regained my senses I realized you were not what I thought you were.

There were psychedelic images playing on the t.v. and the Pet Shop Boys were blaring on the sound system. I had to get out of there. Once outside it took me a few minutes to find my car parked directly in front of your house.

I'm sorry it ended this way, but I think we should just keep it a one night stand.

Celebrity Crushes

I don't understand how girls have celebrity crushes. How can you want to marry someone that you have only seen in movies and pictures? I also don't get how guys I do not find attractive at all end up being the "new hottest thing" just because they are in a popular movie.

These rabid fans are amusing though. When I stumble upon images of girls photoshopping their faces into pictures with the celebrity I can't help but wonder if the majority of celebrity stalkings are elaborate jokes or if girls are really delusional enough to believe that their fake prince charmings will come sweep them away.

I am ashamed to say though that I have found one celebrity that I would not mind plastering pictures all over my wall of.

Obviously I am not a burrito, just bored

I only have one hobby which is reading. Reading is fun but to many people it's not. I'll read anything and everything as long as it is in English. I get so bored easily that I end up reading everything on the labels of the products I am purchasing while waiting in line at the store. If I find myself bored while waiting for the train I will seek out a Jehovah's Witness for a little prayer pamphlet.

Being a full time student I can not seem to juggle personal reading and studying. I have been relegated to doing all my reading during vacations. I do try to cram in as many news articles as I can a day.

Reading news articles makes me realize how much of a boring life I have, like how people win Mega Millions and I would too if they had only called my numbers, but it also makes me appreciate how normal my life is, like how I will never accidentally play footsie with an undercover cop in a bathroom stall.